HEART OF A LION

HEART OF A LION

There was a time in life, when I could write. I had quite the imagination that time, and so write I did. And it helped that I had a teacher who wanted to clone another Chinua Achebe, those good old days...and so teach me she did. And to be a good writer, one has to dream, and I dreamt big. I have been everything I ever wanted to be in this life...I have lived several lives, in my dreams. Except for one...

Hhhmm...heart of a lion, that's what I want. Not to satisfy my insatiable appetite for meat, no! I want it for that one life my mind has not been able to live as yet. You see, it's rumored to be the smallest heart, matters size. Apparently, for all their glory, lions have a tiny heart, I while I have not proved the truth of that statement ( I mean I have to see it with  my own two eyes), I want it. Why? Because there are things I want to do in this life that I want to live, that I can only do with a smaller heart. Things like what, you ask. So, okay then, here's the three main ones.

One, I want to jump off a cliff. I want jump off a cliff...and live. No bungee jumping, no restraints, no nothing really...just one clean ass jump off a very high cliff. Something tells me that by the time I land, I will have let go of a million little things. But to do so, I need an extra life. A cat has nine lives, a lion is a cat...so you see.

Second, and inspired by very recent incidents, I want to meet a random guy...have the best sex of my life, and then lose his number. I want it to be so good...no, I need it to be soo, sooo very good because after that, this shop's gonna close. I'll get into this secondary virginity stuff for about a year or two, assuming I can make it that long. Maybe even check into a convent, see what goes on in there, and if they accept me and my kids...well who knows, I might even stay.

 

Why do I need a lion's heart for this? I made a new friend recently, and he feels it signifies courage. That its significance is not on the size, but on what it can do. Now I'm sure he did not intend to encourage me to have random sex, no, that's all on me. But I need the courage from this heart to actualise my intent, be a pornstar for a night. And I need the size of this heart, so it's small enough to not have space to give a rats behind to what society will say about my actions.

 

Last but not least (been a while😊)...I need the courage to walk. To walk into my change. To walk into this new me that I have evolved into over the years...and even though I have accepted her, without question I might add, the courage to really embrace her and grow into her. To walk into my own forgiveness for the things I have done that my conscience did not agree with, of the decisions I have made in, over and about my life that did not work out well for me. I need courage to walk away from hurt...hurt that I may have inflicted on myself or let others inflict on me. To walk away from the negative aspects of my past and how that negativity may have affected how I have lived my life this far.

Oh, yes! I'm a mother now...of two boys. And these two tiny fellas, they are quite something. There's always a competition happening in my house...ranging from just any other every day fight (because apparently boys can't live a day without getting physical with each other), pee projectile (who can aim highest and furthest) to who let out the loudest and stinkiest fart...I kid you not!! And they'll be laughing about it. I've learnt to just shake my head and let them be. I even referee some of them, and in case of disputes arising from the results, I'm also expected to sit as a very impartial judge.

 

So I need to walk into more love...more love of myself so I can love my children more and better. Love of what is around me, so I can be more accepting of my current reality and be able to change and build it into the reality that I have always dreamt for myself.

And lastly, I need courage to walk out when it is only right that I do so.