IT'S JUST A BALL

One fine Christmas afternoon, we're home, huko mashinani. Adults seated on a mat under a mango tree just talking. There's a game of football going on among the kids. Now my kids are the youngest that side of the family we're on and I realise the older kids aren't passing them the ball as much as mine would like. I don't intervene because sometimes I let them fight their own battles...build character and all that stuff.

Well my oldest, gentle soul that boy, he walks off the "pitch" because he is not enjoying himself. On such occasions, if you ask him, he'll just tell you that "it's not fun"...if it's something I really want him to participate in, I'll give him a pep talk and if he decides to go back I'll be cheering him on. If he opts to sit it out, it's okay, we live to fight another day.

Now, my youngest, little ninja that he is...he just stood there. I'm his mother, so I can tell he's got something planned. I can literally see the gears in his little mind turning. Kumbe the young man knows, one way or the other, that ball is going to come his way, and so...he stands there and waits, patiently. And the ball does indeed come his way, so what does he do? He bends down and picks it up then walks away. Everyone is calling to him to bring the ball back so they can carry on with their game, he doesn't even bother responding, and he's got this little swagger to his walk when he's determined...it's lovely to watch really. The way he throws his legs in front of himself with purpose, stuff of my dreams as a mother!

Anyways, he goes some way off where his grandfather is sitting...under a different tree watching his clan play. He drops the ball to the ground and plops down next to it...all this time, still no word spoken. Then he picks another toy I hadn't even realised he'd left there and plays with it all on his own. Game ended, effective immediately.

Here's the thing, his grandfather does not allow anyone to touch him, including yours truly...and he knows it. He figured it out at the tender age of 2. What's the catch? He tells on everyone to him, his grandmother, his aunts, his dad and even me...you do something, anything and he will rush to tell on you. We served tea outside one afternoon when the grandfather was in the house and he rushed in to tell him “they are eating without you outside!” Let’s not get into how that went from there. Thank God the grandmother was part of the tea drinking initiave otherwise now how do you get yourself out of that one. I can't even imagine the embarrassment.

What am I trying to say? Kids are different. Every parent will tell you that every single opportunity they get. Sometimes you'll wonder if they gave you a different baby when you were living the hospital just by how different their personalities are from your other kid(s), don't worry though…chances are, that is your baby. But you will never really get it until you have kids of your own. Actually, nothing really prepares you for being a parent to your kids, doesn't matter what powerful parenting coaching class you attend. Doesn't matter also if you birth them yourself or you go the adoption way, whichever way you decide to have your children...you'll always feel like uko trial and error. But that's a whole different story, let's save it for another day.